Thursday, August 29, 2019

Shadows, Shelves, and the Sovereignty of God

Book #4 is a favorite classic of mine, The Count of Monte Christo, by Alexandre Dumas. I read it about ten years ago, and decided it was high time to read it again - and would be a lot of fun to listen to on an audiobook... which it absolutely was. 

At its core, it is actually based on terrible themes of hatred and revenge. But something I noticed this time was that Edmond Dantes was a passionate and intentional man, for better or worse - as horrible as his revenge was on his enemies, he was all the more generous in his love and care for his friends. Also, I noticed that he gave credit to God for the good and bad things that happened to him and to others. As much as he planned and orchestrated the ruin or honor of the other characters, he trusted that God would accomplish his own will in all of it. Maybe there is some beautiful and praiseworthy truth there afterall...

While listening, I cross-stitched... a lot more work than it might look like. I filled in the white "shadow" behind the words and added the bottom shelf. Most exciting of all, I've completed 1/6 of the picture - woohoo! Time to move the frame over and complete the top third! 


While I was adding the shadows, I felt a little confusion... they weren't always positioned where I thought they should be, and I was tempted to add in stitches here and there to make it look the way I thought it should. But I ultimately decided to trust that the person who designed the pattern knew what they were doing... and I'm glad I did, because well, they did.

And it reminded me of my relationship with God - how all too often his plan doesn't make sense to me, and I find myself trying to "reason" with him about how my plans are much better... ridiculous, I know. My daily walk with him is like a constant course in learning to fully trust him - with reviews, pop quizzes, and ever-increasing challenges. I've found that trust is much easier if I steadfastly hold on to the truth of his sovereignty - that He ALWAYS knows that He is doing and His plan is ALWAYS the best.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

So many...

Book #3 is another "beast" that I finally conquered during this project: City of Dreams: The 400-Year Epic History of Immigrant New York, by Tyler Anbinder. It is about 770 pages of nonfiction historical content, and it's as heavy (mentally and physically) as an 11th grade textbook. But man, my life is richer because of it!

In the profession/calling that I find myself, this information was incredibly relevant and helpful to me. I loved learning about who has come to the shores of America in each decade since the 1600s, why they came, how they were received, how they affected the course of our country's history, and how their choices caused their descendants to be woven into the fabric of our nation. It was important for me to get a bigger picture view on immigration policies and trends, so I could gain a healthier perspective of the time in history in which I live and work. For anyone who is interested in the current refugee crisis and political decisions about immigration in America (whether you are knowledgeable about it, or not - or think you are because you watch the news), I highly recommend this book.




As I have been stitching the first two words of my cross-stitch pattern, I feel the weight of their significance. It's taken a lot of thread to stitch them, and a lot of time. As each letter has come into focus, I've thought more and more of the effects of the creativity of the God who made us all unique and wonderful, the effects of the curse of sin on our world, and the effects of the redeeming love of Christ.

So many people...
So many colors...
So many flavors...
So many accents...
So many languages...
So many cultural nuances...
So many styles of clothing...
Intricate and complex,
Fascinating and rich,
Beautiful and diverse!

But also -

So many corrupt governments...
So many horrendous disasters...
So many broken communities...
So many inhumane actions...
So many war-torn nations...
So many joys destroyed...
So many lives taken...
Lost and lonely,
Fearful and heartbroken,
Foreign and unfamiliar.

And yet -

So many steps taken...
So many miles crossed...
So many children saved...
So many families healed...
So many dreams reimagined...
So many new possibilities opened up...
So many opportunities found to love and be loved...
Brave and determined,
Resourceful and resilient,
Hopeful and strong!

- "So Many"
c.l. chandler

Friday, August 9, 2019

Thoughts on Needle Threaders and Thimbles

I'm really blessed to have some thoughtful and creative friends, who also happen to read this blog! One of those friends read this post, in which I made a comment about my hand tremors and the challenge of threading needles. So, she bought and introduced me to this handy little gadget:


On one end is a flat metal loop that easily fits through the eye of a needle, but the loop is also wide enough to easily thread. So, you slip it through the eye, then thread the loop, then pull it back through the eye, and voila! The needle is threaded quickly without any fuss or bother. It has dramatically decreased my wasted time and frustration! You may also notice that there is a tiny razor on the other end, which I have found to be very handy in efficiently snipping loose ends. So now the needle threader is one of my favorite tools.

The second audio book I read was Peter Pan. Unlike War and Peace, this one is a lifelong favorite of mine that I have read a dozen times. It's a book that I think children enjoy, but adults can deeply appreciate.

While we're on the subject of sewing instruments, I smile as I remember one of my favorite scenes: Peter and Wendy's "kiss." There is a bit of a language/cultural barrier in the nursery after Wendy sews Peter's shadow back on him (the only natural thing to do), and when Peter holds out his hand to receive Wendy's kiss, she gives him a thimble. In return, Peter chivalrously gives her a "kiss" as well - an acorn button from his shirt. Wendy threads it on a chain and wears it around her neck to keep it close to her heart. Later in the story, Peter's "kiss" actually saves her life... in that classic, timeless way of the very best fairy tales.

And why does this lead me to worship? Because I know God loves to take our smallest tokens and use them in the biggest ways. Our paper flowers, our thimbles, our pasted valentines that are our pitiful and best attempts at expressing our love and thanks - these are more precious to him than diamonds. Our choice to get out of bed and live for him today, our small step forward of faith and obedience, our simple effort to be kind and caring to others - this is the stuff of legends, in the hands of our great God. And the little pieces of our broken hearts and dreams - these are the raw materials he uses to display his hope, power, and glory.

Just as an acorn button stopped an arrow from piercing Wendy's heart, so also can God take our prayer of commitment and our cry of praise... and draw a lost and dying world into his family and his kingdom.

Monday, August 5, 2019

War and Peace and geometric patterns

I've been trying to get through the classic historical novel, War and Peace, for months. Why? Because I love to intellectually torture myself, of course! And because I crave knowledge - I love to learn and I hate feeling like I don't know important things. War and Peace is one of those books that I think everyone knows of but few have actually read or know what it's about, and I want to be counted among the few. Not because I love war stories (I don't) or am a sucker for ridiculously complex Russian names (I'm not), but because if a book has lived as long as this one has and is still considered one of the greats, I want to know why.

It's a little over 1,200 pages of combined historical commentary and fictional plot, set in 1805-1815, during the Napoleon era. I read the majority of it on my Kindle (Kindles are wonderful for reading hefty books), but decided to download an audio version for the last 20%. Thus, I finished reading W&P while simultaneously beginning my cross-stitch project.  I love multi-tasking!

While my cross-stitch pattern is large, it is not too complicated. Books, as you might already know, have a general geometric shape to them, all straight edges and right angles. There's not a lot so far in the way of shading and blending of colors. So it's been a relaxing and refreshing start. Don't they look nice?


I'll admit that there was quite a bit in the book that I didn't really understand. There was a lot of high philosophy that was over my head, and it was hard to keep all the characters straight. But I'm ok with that because I grasped one significant take-away: Napoleon was not as amazing as we like to think. In fact, none of the political and military commanders of this tumultuous corner of history were incredibly vital to the course of human events. Before you think me dark and cynical, let me explain.

Tolstoy went to long and great lengths in his story to show how foolish everyone was - leaders that tried their hardest to do what they thought would be the best thing, other leaders trying even harder to foil those plans for their own benefit... plans made, battles fought, schemes attempted, blah, blah, blah... And if any of them had been successful, much worse things would have happened than actually did. We often attribute good and bad things that happen in the world to people who seem to us powerful and fearless and clever and indestructible. But Tolstoy boiled it down to an age-old proverb:

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." - Proverbs 16:9 

When directed at selfish me and my plans, this doesn't feel like good news. But when I think of this truth in the perspective of our history and the scheme of eternity, it does bring great comfort and peace. Think back on different eras of history - the real-life evil villains who intended to wipe out whole ethnic groups or take over the world or erase God! How good it is to be reminded that they are not all powerful - THEY DID NOT WIN. None of their wicked schemes came as a surprise to God, and never once has God had to fret over "what to do, what to do!" He is the all-powerful one and establishes the paths and boundary lines for every stooge who thought they could usurp his authority, throne, and name.

The Psalms proclaim his might and power and majesty over and over... I love looking in the pages of Scripture and seeing this truth repeated like an anthem. But when I look up, when I look back, when I hear the stories from every generation, I see that anthem continue. God is the King of all Kings and will be forever and ever, Amen!

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Introduction: So Many Books... So Little Time!

Because of my previous cross-stitch/worship-blog project, a friend gave me a very creative gift for my birthday (back in April): she gave me a cross-stitch project. But she didn't just go to the store and buy a packaged set - she actually printed out a pattern, bought the corresponding colors of floss, and bought a canvas! It's a pretty big (8in x 12in), and the image includes 18 colorful books on a bookshelf and the words "So Many Books, So Little Time." It is pretty special, because my friend knows I love cross-stitching AND books AND creative, thoughtful gifts.

I had a lot going on during the past few months and just didn't feel like I could commit to it yet, so I set it aside for the opportune moment... which I believe has finally arrived! I decided that instead of music, I would listen to audio books while I work on this project. Who knows? Maybe I'll get through 18 books in the time it takes me to complete it! But I will blog about the books I'm reading/listening to, and how they call me to worship... because YES, I do believe stories are a wonderful way to worship! 

Here we go! 

Friday, July 5, 2019

Our audience of One

"I believe God made me fast, and when I run I feel his pleasure." - Eric Liddell

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." - Romans 12:1

We all have things we like to do in the few spare personal and quiet moments in our week. They may not seem to have any real practical usefulness to others, and we may not think they have any significant impact on the world. So when we talk about them we try to minimize them and reduce them as our little hobbies or indulgences that are fun and keep our hands busy. 

But secretly we cherish those activities as sacred, don't we? They bring peace to our frenzied minds and refreshment to our threadbare spirits... they fill our hearts with simple delight and satisfy a piece of our soul that is underused and often hidden away. 


We don't call ourselves athletes, poets, musicians, or artists because the world doesn't recognize us as such - we've not earned money with our gifts nor have we received any great honor or award. And a corner of our rational thinking scolds us and insists that we really have more important things to do with our leftover energy. 

But we are drawn to the garden, the canvas, the instrument, the oven, the journal, the workbench, the yarn bag again, finding comfort as we hold familiar tools in our hands, and suddenly we feel that this is the most important thing that we need to do right now. We're alone, pouring our heart out on a span of black and white keys or a creamy square of card stock or a mixing bowl of dry ingredients. 


And maybe no one will ever see or hear or taste or experience what we create - or if they do, they'll never know the care and tenderness that was generously given to this moment. It may look like we're doing this just for us... but are we really? 

Because it doesn't feel selfish, it feels like an offering - a living sacrifice, even - a gift that we are creating and sharing at the same time. It's a prayer of praise and thanksgiving, an act of worship and our very best childlike attempt to present something special to the Lord. 


He is listening and watching and smelling and enjoying it with us... and He is greatly pleased when we find joy in using the gifts He has given. 

Saturday, June 29, 2019

"He wrote His song into everything..."

I finished the three-part picture this week! Here it is: 


The three panels were in different parts of the book, and while I used the same pens, pencils, and crayons throughout, isn't it interesting how different the colors look? Maybe it tells a story of the variations in my strength and mood from day to day...? Anyway, it's far from perfect, but it brought me a lot of joy as I did it.

Here is the original painting, by Thomas Kinkade:


Wow! Isn't that stunning? I have no idea how he made the fireflies glow or the water sparkle like that, but I love it!

My favorite thing about this picture, though, is how musical it is. From the seagull squawking away, to the frogs popping out of the pelicans' bills and riding the boat oar, to the flamingos doing three-part harmony, to the ducks playing on turtles like bongos... not to mention the whistle of the breeze through the willows, the soprano trill of the water cascading down the rocks, and the rippling melody of the waves touching the boat... and anyone who has a romantic nerve in their being can hear that moon sing a lullaby in operatic tenor! The whole image is motion and rhythm and tune and life.

And just as my coloring art is an imperfect imitation of a fabulous painting, so is the painting a dim reflection of the world God has created... where every heart and every thing was truly born with a song it was made to sing. What is the song that you hear?

Listening to: "Sing," by Ellie Holcomb

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Dramatic waves of Crayola

My favorite thing about using crayons is the names of the colors! Unlike the unimaginative names given to colors in cross-stitching (see previous post), a Crayola box is full of fun and inspiring names, and sometimes I get distracted by just reading all the labels.

I used five crayons to color the lagoon: pacific blue, sea green, blue-green, cerulean, and indigo. I wanted to give some movement to the water, so I colored in broad strokes that arched in different ways. Then I smoothed over it with short horizontal strokes. I'm not sure it came out the way I thought it would, but I'm happy with it:

Center panel of "The Little Mermaid II"

The thing about broad, arching strokes is that they make me feel very dramatic and I get a bit carried away. If you look closely, you'll see the blue crossed many lines that it probably shouldn't have, and tinted the boat, the hair, the clothes, the flowers in less than professional ways. But I was coloring to the rhythm of the song "How He Loves Us" (linked below), and at the time it felt just fine and even now, I have no regrets.

I was thinking of the love of God, which is like a hurricane on the sea, fierce and awesome... taking our steady hearts and boring lives and stirring them up with such power that we get carried away and turned violently into something new and unrecognizable.

And I was thinking of His grace, which is like an ocean that sinks all of us who dare to enter into it... so much deeper and wider and infinite than we could ever image, and it never runs dry but springs fresh and new every morning to cleanse and restore us, and drown us.

And I was thinking of how heaven meets earth in a "sloppy wet kiss"... when God walked in the garden, when Jesus wrapped himself in baby-soft skin, when the Holy Spirit crash-landed like fire on the heads of the saints, and whenever we slow down enough to observe his hands move and listen to his voice sing over us.

So I color in broad strokes, in arches, and in layers, and I get "pacific ocean water" all over the page, because it reminds me of the incredible and reckless love of God.

Listening to: "How He Loves Us," by John Mark McMillan

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Grace-filled Layers

My nephew was visiting us recently, and he loves coloring as much as I do, so we colored together quite a bit. He likes using colored pencils, and between the two of us we have quite a selection - four boxes full! I really enjoyed sharing this time with him, with pencils and paper spread out all around us. I was pretty impressed with his eye for color, too - he is very specific about the colors he uses, and how they mix with or compliment each other, and he always chooses them perfectly. 

Colored pencils are not my favorite medium to work with, because I can't bear down very hard, and it takes a lot of pressure for the colors to be vibrant. But here's something I realized as I colored with my nephew: colored pencils are full of grace. Because I don't make dark marks, it doesn't matter so much if I go out of the lines a little; I can always erase or color back over my mistakes with other pencils. It also doesn't matter much if I accidentally use the wrong shade; I can just blend another color over it.

And then I realized something else: if I shade multiple layers with multiple pencils on the same spot, the color becomes more full and vibrant! 

The left panel of "The Little Mermaid II"

And anyway, if you really look closely at a rock or leaf (in real life), they aren't one solid color of gray or green, are they? They have depth and dimension, light and shadow, and a million particles that make them unique and beautiful. So, my grass has three colors blended in, my rocks have four colors, and my hanging vines and branches have five colors. And yes, it took quite a while to get it finished and looking the way I wanted. With the first layer, I thought it looked ok - with the second layer, I thought it looked better... and with every additional layer, I liked it more and more. 

So colored pencils remind me of the grace of God... quick to forgive, erase, and cover over my sins. From the fullness of his love, we receive grace upon grace (John 1:16). And with every layer of his grace, my life becomes more beautiful, more enriched, a more complete depiction of his love. 

Listening to: "Grace Upon Grace," by Josh Wilson

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Composing, Conducting, and Coloring

Summer is finally here! I was outside today, enjoying the sunshine and blue sky and some of my favorite summer songs. Near the top of my list is the ENTIRE soundtrack to The Little Mermaid. So my current artsy-type project is in honor of that:  

Right panel of "The Little Mermaid II"

I have a coloring book of Disney scenes that were painted by Thomas Kinkade - much like the cross-stitch I did this spring. The thing I love about these pictures is that they are actually divided into three panels. So the image you see above is the far right side of the painting, and there are two other pages that complete it. I'm working on coloring all three at the same time, as my early-summer project.

I've decided to use three mediums: pens, pencils, and crayons. So you can see I've outlined the whole picture with thin pens, and I've started to fill in parts of it with colored pencils. My plan is to use several blue crayons for the lagoon water, to give it another dimension. We'll see how it turns out!

Outlining is tedious, but I love the effect it gives, don't you? It reminds me of the "percussion" that Sabastian begins his concert with, a simple baseline. I like the way he is perched on a rock in a waterfall, conducting the sounds of nature to create the mood and rhythm of the whole scene. And do you see his smile and the joy in his eyes? That reminds me of my Creator, and the expression He surely had on his face as he created stars and starfish, plants and planets.

I think He must have taken incredible joy and pride in everything he created with just a spoken word. I wonder if He held up his hands and conducted as birds and frogs and whales found their voices, as the wind played on reeds, and waves crashed together, and the leaves and branches whispered in mighty trees. I wonder if He closed his eyes as he carefully tuned the cricket's wings and the river's current. He decorated lagoons to be romantic, he designed canyons to take our breath away, and he made the hills come alive with the sound of music.

What a composer, what an artist He is!

Currently listening to "So Will I (100 Billion X)"

Monday, May 6, 2019

Creating Opportunity

I'm taking a little break from any big arts and crafts projects for now, just coloring and doodling a bit here and there, and yet I continue to see the creativity of God in my life.

Over the past couple months, I've been honored to participate in a local church's development of a new Sunday morning English language learning program. A team of about 10 members of the church volunteered to invest in this program as a way to love and serve the international members of our community. Most of them do not have a teaching degree, and only a few have worked with people from other cultures, but I've been so impressed and blessed by their willingness to do whatever is needed to make this possible. So we met several times to plan, practice, promote, prepare, and pray together, and last Sunday was our first scheduled class! Look at all these beautiful, eager, friendly faces that were just anticipating welcoming their first students!


No students showed up that morning.

Smiles and shoulders sagged ever-so-slightly as the whole team felt disappointed but worked hard to maintain a positive outlook. We sat around the classroom and looked at the snacks that were waiting to be eaten, the pencils that were waiting to be held, the chairs that were waiting to be sat upon. I looked around at the faces that were waiting to greet, connect, teach, learn and love, and prayed silently, Lord, we're ready...what's the hold up? 

There have been times in "ministry life" when I have felt spiritual oppression, barricades, and attacks and have learned how to pray against those things in the name of Jesus. But that morning, I didn't feel any of that. I felt like we were all exactly where we were supposed to be, doing exactly what we were supposed to do, and could almost visibly see Jesus sitting with us, smiling, nodding, even clapping. I got the strangest feeling that he had no intention for there to be any students in our class that day. This was smack-dab in the middle of his will and plan. What I couldn't figure out was... why?

Our group decided the best way to spend this time together was to pray. We prayed for the dream and vision that we shared, we prayed for those who would join us soon, and we thanked God for whatever-the-heck He was doing. Then we came up with a new strategy to bring people in...

See, the original plan was to invite clients through World Relief, invite local international churches to come, and announce it at this church. We purposefully did not send mass announcements out through the schools and other community organizations, because we didn't want to get overwhelmed. Since this team is new to this sort of ministry, I wanted to keep it small for our 6-week "trial run." The plan is, after the trial period, the team will take the summer to use what they learned and prepare a full program to launch in the fall. We just didn't expect our limited invitation to have no results at all.

So the new strategy is this: personal invitation. Who do you know in your community who could benefit from this program? Do you know anyone who does not speak much English? If not, take it to another degree - do you know anyone who knows anyone who wants to learn English? A friend or neighbor is much more likely to show up at this church, than someone who is handed a flyer about a place they've never gone and a group of people they've never met. The team considered this, and then started to respond:

"I could tell some of the parents of my kids at school..."
"My manicurist might be interested..."
"You know, I've been looking for a good excuse to check out that new temple down the road..."

Fast forward to Week #2!

Same smiling and welcoming faces, same bright and empty room. Except... one. One woman came in, and the beautiful shade and shape of her face told me that she was probably from South Sudan. She was welcomed with all the pent-up joy and love that our team had been storing for two weeks! She was familiar to some people in the group because she attended that church and had friends there. She understands and speaks English well, and said she hoped to learn to read and write with us. We all introduced ourselves to her and asked her to share some of her story with us, which she did. We prayed with her, and as we ended our time one volunteer (who had brought a beautiful spread of snacks) wrapped up all the cookies and oranges for her to take home to her family. The woman thanked us and asked if it was OK if she invited a couple friends to come with her next week. YES!! we all but shouted eagerly.

While the team was waiting, I talked with a few of the members, and listened to their stories. They told me about the people they had seen, met, and talked with throughout the previous week, people they had barely noticed before that they realized were all around them: the Korean man who owns the dry cleaner, the Pakistani couple with the gas station, the Hispanic construction crew in their neighborhood, etc. The team was suddenly seeing and caring about the international members of their community! And I wonder if maybe that was God's plan and purpose all along...

One person matters. She is strong and brave and full of grace. She felt loved and welcomed into our room, and will link arms to bring others in. Maybe the people in the community - the nail salon, the gas station, the temple - will feel loved and welcomed, too, and because of that maybe they will come see what this program is about. It might be small and slow-growing for a while, but it is also deeply personal and intentional.

The measure of success of this dream is not in numbers of students or progressive language skills, but in renovated hearts and transformative relationships... in the ways we begin to look and act and love more like Jesus.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

The Tale as Old as Time

I finished it! One month, from beginning to end, and so pleased with the result... 


Thank you, Andrew, for giving me such a thoughtful gift, and thank you, readers, for following along on this little journey with me! It was really special to spend this time listening to some of my favorite praise songs, reflecting on love and grace, and meditating on color and story and symbolism in stitches. I took so much joy in creating and worshiping the Creator in the process.

In case you were curious, the image came from the Thomas Kinkade Disney Dreams Collection, and is just a small piece of a much bigger and even more elaborate and beautiful painting called "Falling in Love." (I did look it up, and there are also 5x7"-half-picture and 16x12"-full-picture cross-stitch patterns of the same painting - that would be a challenge!) Yet another illustration of how our limited vantage point is only a small piece of the grander story...


This last song link is not "technically" a praise song, but if you've learned anything from this blog series, I'm sure you can find a way to let it lead you to worship. And if you do, please comment below and let me know how. (Also, be sure to pay special attention to the last image that is shown at the end of this music video!)

Listening to: "Beauty and the Beast," by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson


P.S. Cross-stitching is just one way I like to be creative. I also like to color, sketch, write poetry, crochet, take pictures, etc. Maybe you like to cook, bake, garden, cut hair, carve wood, do make-up, sew, glue, paint, macrame, quilt, basket-weave, Lego-design, make wreaths, make jewelry, make music, build, fix, or renovate. Whatever you do to add beauty and life and purpose to the world, remember that it is a gift from the Creator, let it draw you closer to his heart, and use it well as an offering of praise and worship to him.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Belle, Complete

I'm so close to finishing this project! I'm done with all the cross-stitches, and am working on the outline now, and just completed the image of Belle. 


I really love the character of Belle, and I always have, because I felt like I could relate to her. She's a bookworm, a dreamer, and a little odd, not really fitting in to the quiet and predictable and "provincial" life she feels surrounded by, longing to be a part of something much bigger than herself but not knowing what that is quite yet. And for all her ideas about who she might become or where she might end up, I'm certain that she never could have imagined that she would be experiencing this moment, hand in hand and face to face with a Beast that she did not fear, but instead cared for, trusted, and loved.

Being a dreamer is hard sometimes, especially when you are a follower of Jesus. The problem isn't that we're limited and the world is too small - quite the contrary! Knowing that God is creative and awesome and has limitless resources, time, and power and that ALL things are possible with Him... and knowing that HE actually has a wonderful plan and purpose for me... is overwhelming. I tremble in silent wonder on the brink of the great unknown - the days and months and years, the steps and miles and voyages he has in store. It's all so much more than I could dream of on my own - my wildest imagination cannot touch the glory of His plan.

Over and over I see it happen to people in the Bible, and over and over again I have seen it happen in my own life: simple, quiet, unassuming characters in a poor provincial world, who just hold on to the Promise with faith and trust in the God of the universe... walking step by step into adventure and magic and thrilling hope. Oh God, you are great and do marvelous things!

Listening to: Better Than Life, by Phil Whickham 

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Common Thread

I started working on Belle recently, and I was surprised by how many colors I use for her that I also used for Beast. From Dark Red-Brown to Medium Gold, it just goes to show that no matter how different we think we are, there are things that we all have in common, that bind us together.


In the story of Beauty and the Beast, the natural tendency is to think of Belle as "the Beauty," but I was reminded of what the enchantress told Beast when he was cursed: "Do not be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within." Really, the story is about discovering the beauty inside the beast. As Belle got to know the Beast, she began to see that inner beauty, through the ways he showed kindness and gentleness toward her, and in the ways he fought for her and protected her.

I was thinking about how (contrary to the handsome actors who typically play him in movies) Jesus wasn't a beauty. Isaiah said that "he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not" (Is. 53:2-3). Thing is, He is God, so he really could have picked any human shell he wanted to, right? He could have looked like Hercules or even Jim Caviezel if he had wanted to! But I think he chose to look average-to-ugly (or less than desirable) to be even more like us (Phil. 2:6-7)... to give us more common thread to relate to and feel in some way connected with him. I'm so thankful he stooped so low, not just in his life but abundantly more so in his death...

This week before Easter, as I reflect on the cross and all the bloody, gory, horrific realities it represents, I am overcome with thankfulness... because I know that Jesus died so I could be forgiven and restored. He may not have been a pretty face, but to those of us who have met him - who have been saved and redeemed and changed forever by him - he is the most beautiful person in the universe.


Listening to: How Beautiful, by Twila Paris

Saturday, April 13, 2019

The Eye of the Needle

My least favorite task in this beautiful and mostly-relaxing project is threading the needle. I have an embroidery needle that has a blunt pointy-end and a longer eye, so it's not as tricky as a typical sewing needle. But I find it hard, mostly because I have a tremor in my hands. It isn't extreme, so I don't really notice it until I'm trying to do small, focused fine-motor-skill-ish things, like threading a limp string through a tiny hole.

Image result for threading a needle embroidery

Contrary to what this rather cool-looking image says, I am not going to tell you the secret of how to thread a needle. This is partially because I think you deserve the right to learn it on your own, partially because I don't think I actually know the secret myself, and partially because I don't think there is truly a secret at all.

I'm writing about this because today I didn't make any progress in my stitching. I could not get my needle threaded. I must have worked at it for a good ten minutes with no success. So I finally put the thread and the needle down inside the frame, took my hands off, and prayed. Because it's not just about this cross-stitch project... There are just days when I feel like I'm trying so hard to accomplish something of worth, and just wearing myself out in the process, not getting anywhere. There are just days when I feel faint in my body and spirit, and I need to take a break and refocus on the Source of my strength and hope. 

"Lord, you know the effort that I put in today. And even though I feel like I have nothing to show for it, I believe that nothing is wasted when it's given to You. So I place my life in Your hands, knowing that when I just can't do it anymore, you can." 

Listening to: "For the Moments I Feel Faint," by Relient K 

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

For the Birds

I finished up "the Beast" and a few odds-and-ends, so I'm now done with five or so colors! A friend told me about how if you save the bits of left-over thread, you can set it outside and the birds will use it to "decorate" their nests... which sounds like something my Grandma Chandler would have done, so I've decided to do it!

Some of what I have been finishing up involves just 1-5 stitches here and there around the edges of the image. Part of me doesn't want to waste the effort it takes to thread the needle (topic of the next post) to put a couple of tiny Xs where they may or may not even be noticed. But then I realized that these little spots are actually part of the bigger picture... the one that goes beyond the frame and the canvas. They are edges of leaves that belong to unseen trees, and they are stones that lean into other unseen stones that make up unseen walls that hold up towers that... well, you get the idea. They remind me that what is seen is not the whole story and is not where the journey ends. They are like the ellipses at the end of a sentence, indicating there is more, so much more...

(see what I did there?)


Everything in all creation points to the bigger picture - from the smallest leaf to the highest tower, from the most powerful ruler to the baby that is so tiny and new its mother doesn't even know about it yet -  nothing is insignificant in turning our focus and leading our hearts to majesty of God. Praise the Lord that what is visible is not all there is. Praise the Lord that what is mortal is not the end. Praise the Lord that his glory does not fade, his love does not fail, his mercy does not die, and his amazing story stretches from eternity to eternity... 

Listening to: "O Praise the Name (Anastasis)," by Hillsong Worship

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Building Muscles

Why it was necessary to use five shades of blue in the Beast's fancy suit coat??

I worked on this relatively large chunk - probably 1/4 of the whole image - last weekend A LOT and let me tell you, my arm was hurting from the effort. Seriously, my elbows, shoulders, biceps and triceps were actually aching! And I got a little cranky from the tediousness of all the colors and their random curvy paths on the canvas. Taking a break halfway though, I looked at the unfinished product, and started to laugh:

Do you see what I see? Because what I see is rippling, bulging arm muscles being formed! I took a minute to marvel at the power of subtle shades of color in creating shadows and dimensions to express and enhance the underlying strength in the Beast's arm.

And then I took another minute to marvel at the way God uses even these tiny stitches and colorful strands and creative projects to exercise my muscles and make me stronger. The up and down motion that my right arm does over and over to pull the thread through the canvas, the constant grip of my left hand and wrist to hold the frame still while I work, the fine motor workout for my right fingers to pinch, hold and direct the needle, the silent steadiness of my left arm to hold the framed canvas up so I can see it and work on it... I'm doing something I enjoy, I'm creating something lovely, I'm meditating on and worshiping my Creator, and in the process, He is building my muscles.

Of course, strength doesn't come quickly or easily. It takes some pain, some risk, lots of trust, and lots of endurance. And in my physical and spiritual daily exercise, sometimes I don't see progress and I lose sight of purpose, and I get weary... kind of like I did in my stitching. But then God reminds me that he is doing the real "heavy lifting" and just asks me to continue to be faithful in what he has given me, and he will carry me... He is so gracious, patient, and faithful. He will finish the work that he has started in me, and it will be beautiful.


Listening to: "Make My Life a Prayer to You," by Keith Green

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Three-quarter stitches

Cross-stitches are pretty basic: You've got four holes in a square, and you stitch diagonally to form Xs. It looks best if all the stitches are going the same way, and since I'm right-handed, I typically stitch bottom-left to top-right, then bottom-right to top-left. I like the pattern and rhythm of simple stitches like this...

Some patterns - like this one - add in a little challenge called "three-quarter stitches." You don't go from hole to hole in the canvas... you poke the needle through the material between the holes. It's a little hard, actually; it takes some extra force and focus to push the needle through tightly-woven strands. But it has kind of a cool effect, in that it smooths angles and makes the image look less pixelated. In that way, it is a better stitch to fulfill this special purpose:


Why am I wasting a blog post on a stitch?

There are many times in my life when I fall into a rhythm of doing the same thing - the thing that is most efficient, most familiar, and makes the most sense. And in the midst of my comfortable and predictable work, when I feel pretty confident and competent, I hear the Holy Spirit whisper to me: "Let's mix it up and do something new." New? Why? Things are perfectly fine as they are.

But see, Jesus didn't create me, die to save me, and resurrect to restore me to just have a life that is "perfectly fine." Life shouldn't be comfortable, efficient, and sensible all the time - joy, faith, passion and reckless abandon don't rise up out of that mediocrity. So God mixes it up, and asks us to try a new thing, to consider a different way, to go where we typically wouldn't, to see something that we may have overlooked all together. Sometimes it's not easy - usually it's pretty difficult, actually. It's uncomfortable and challenging, making me sweat and wonder if I'll be able to make it through alive, much less successfully. It takes my trust and dependence on the Lord to a deeper level.

And when I am faithful and obedient to listen and follow Him, I experience a way that is more adventurous and that shows me more of the heart of God. He uses it to develop something new and beautiful in me. Sure, it usually doesn't look like I thought it would (He is constantly revising and refining the pattern I planned for myself)... but it is so much better, and I am so thankful for his wisdom, guidance, and purpose.

Listening to "Red Sea Road," by Ellie Holcomb

Monday, April 1, 2019

The Beast, in Layers

Ok, enough with the background colors already... Do we even remember what this image is about? Right, Beauty and the Beast - that classic tale of unconventional and unexpected love. 

I've turned my attention to the Beast... There are four shades of brown that layer upon each other to create his shaggy head, so it took a couple days for me to complete it. As I worked on his face, I listened to the fabulous soundtrack to the live-action(ish) movie, especially enjoying Dan Stevens' solo, "Evermore."



This image that I'm stitching comes at the moment in the story when Beast realizes he loves Belle, and because of that love he has to let her go... choosing to give her freedom is a frightening and difficult thing, because she could choose to abandon him and forget him. But his love is stronger than his fear, and he does what is right, even if it hurts (or kills) him. What courage! 

It feels like the gospel is in this story... the way selfishness and hatred create a beast, a curse which cannot be reversed except through the pure and true love of another. It isn't a true analogy, because Belle isn't Jesus, she is human and has her own issues to work through... but I'll save those thoughts for when I stitch Belle. :) For now, as I focus on this moment with the Beast, I'm praising the Lord that in my weakest, worst, "beastliest" state, He loves me, and He is faithful and true. 

Listening to: "My Redeemer is Faithful and True," by Steven Curtis Chapman

Friday, March 29, 2019

Grace Notes

There's a special stitch in my pattern that is called a "Tweeded Stitch," made up of one strand of Gold and one strand of Green.

There are only 15 tiny stitches of this tweed in the whole pattern, rather scattered throughout the background. Here in the picture, you can see what the combination looks like on the plain canvas background as well as how it subtly fits in with the greens and grays at the top.

I don't think the tweed really makes a significant impact on the bigger image. It doesn't have a practical purpose in completing the picture - not like eyes or fingers, anyway. I could probably have filled in those spots with plain "Medium Green" or "Light Green Gray" and it wouldn't be missed. There is a lot going on, and it can just blend in and get overlooked.

But I do see a special beauty about it. That glimpse of gold twisted in with the green somehow adds light and magic to the scene. Like "grace notes" in music - those tiny details that embellish a note ever-so-stealthily - it causes the beholder to smile without being able to put their finger on why. It's an artistic touch, an intentional attention to detail that demonstrates the care and value the creator gives to the creation.

Today I am considering the tiny details that God takes time to perfectly form and place around me - things that may seem insignificant at first, but really do evoke light and joy. They are the things that remind me that He is personally interested and invested in my life, that I am special and important to him... they are the little notes of his grace to me.

Listening to: "After All These Years," by Andrew Peterson

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

The Back Side

I finished up the color green! While you still can't tell what the picture will be on the front side, things are coming together to form something orderly and significant. Then I flipped the canvas over to look at the back side:


Actually, it doesn't look too bad, does it? I try to keep the stitches neat and as close together as possible in the back - this helps the canvas stay smooth and flat, and I think it makes each strand last longer and go farther on the front side, too. But still, being inverted and jumbled, it's hard to make out what is happening. Compared to the front, this is a bit chaotic - and will become increasingly chaotic as I add more clarity and definition to the front. There are loose ends, overlapping strands, stitches that go in different directions, and stitches that stretch across more space to get from one point to another. As much as I want the back to look okay, I know that it doesn't have to look pristine and perfect. The purpose of the back side is to get the embroidery floss where it needs to be on the front side, and what is most important is what the picture is becoming... 

I'm thinking about the back side of my canvas today, because I've been thinking a lot about the "back side of my life journey" lately. If my life were a canvas, I could say that I prefer to be on the front side, controlling the stitches and benefiting from having access to the big-picture pattern. But when I submit my life to the will of my Creator, I give the "needle and thread" to God, and let him re-position me to look at the back side of the canvas. From this perspective, I can sometimes see how His hand is moving, but mostly I am confounded by just glimpsing scattered bits and pieces, unsure of what He's creating... Why did he choose that color? Where is he going with this stitch? Why does he keep going over that same spot? How long is this string, when will it end, and what will come next?

And throughout all my doubts, confusion, and questions, He knows the plan, He has a clear view of how to accomplish it, and He is bringing order and significance to all that appears to me to be chaos.

Be praised, O Lord, by this work of Your hands!

Listening to: "The Color Green," by Rich Mullins

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Fifty Shades of Gray?!

... Well, maybe just five shades of gray - but it feels like fifty! (Was that too inappropriate??) In sorting and separating the colors, it always amuses me (and slightly annoys me) when the color descriptions read like this: "Medium Gray," "Light Gray," Medium Light Gray," etc. The differences are so subtle, I go a bit cross-eyed trying to distinguish which color name matches with which floss. But I'm learning that there is purpose in these details - each strand on its own isn't so remarkable, but together they are becoming a valuable part of the greater image.


We're going on two weeks of cloudy/rainy weather, of which I am not a fan. When I look out the window, my primary descriptive word is "gray." But really, I am starting to notice that there are lots of shades out there, and they add dimension and depth to the sky and landscape, a sort of multi-faceted beauty of its own... a subtle gradient from light to dark, shadows on the edges of clouds, watermarks on the rooftops, streams running down the road... they all work together to tell a story. Ok, on the surface, it's the story of a rainy day, but if I look closer, I see a deeper story... a story of cleansing and purifying - carrying away the old, making way for something new and fresh, creating opportunity for life to be refreshed and restored... oh Lord, you bring beautiful restoration, hallelujah...

Listening to: "All the Poor and Powerless," by All Sons & Daughters

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

The First Stitch

I started another cross-stitch project, one that my brother Andrew gave to me as a gift... because he knows I love colors, crafts, cross-stitch, Disney, and Beauty and the Beast. It might be small, but look at all these colors!!


After separating out the strands of embroidery floss, framing the canvas, and threading the needle, I'm ready for stitching. And where do I begin? Right in the center... which according to the pattern is a random grey spot that obscurely blends into the background. It doesn't look special or significant in the grand scheme of the picture, but it's a start, and it will act as a guide for where all the other stitches will land.  

On the recommendation of my other brother, Kevan, I've decided to document the progress of this project as the first "miniseries" on this blog, called "The Art of Celebration." The title comes from the Rend Collective's song, "Boldly I Approach," one of my all-time favorite praise songs. I also chose the title because of the realization that being creative and artistic are qualities that we all have in some way, because we've been made in the image of our Creator (Genesis 1:27), and therefore our creative expression can be an act of worship when it reflects His glory. So I will share with you the things that come to my mind and heart, as I stitch and worship through song and prayer and wonder.

"This is the art of celebration: knowing we're free from condemnation! Oh, praise the One who made an end to all my sin!"